Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
