I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
