Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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