There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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