well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
