so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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