you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize