I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize