the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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