I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
