Your tits are I can't wait for
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
