He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
