I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
