Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
