belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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