I'm lost and stupid without you.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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