you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well I just put wine in my tea
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
