Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize