If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
