I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
