I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
