I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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