I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize