so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
