Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
All the doctor said was why
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
