I'm gonna have a badass scar
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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