You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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