I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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