I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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