i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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