she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
