I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i drank out of a bidet.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize