Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize