Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
