Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
