Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
