who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
