oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
