at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize