i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
