At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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