I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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