So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
