Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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