I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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