i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
