she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
