seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
