I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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