I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
