didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
