dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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