Nicole vs. Life
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
