um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
