just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
