If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i dont even know how to be here
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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