As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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