where am i from again
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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