when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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