Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
