he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Ladies don't puke and tell
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
