The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
