We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
