she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
