Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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