another moral hangover. fuck.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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