he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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