i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize